They might be getting them at Urban Outfitters. They seem to fit that style. T-shirts, in bright, summery colors that say: "Tómeme a Madrid." I have been accused of over zealous criticism of those who abuse and misuse Spanish, but seriously, people, do you really think that Babelfish is the right place to look for a translation if you're planning on printing thousands of t-shirts in a language you don't know?
First of all, let's talk about false cognates. Embarazada doesn't mean embarassed. It means pregnant. Exitado means horny, not excited. Molestar means to bother, not to molest. Yes, tomar means "to take," but anyone who speaks a teeny tiny bit of Spanish will tell you that it means to take a drink, to take a pill, to take a pen and stab yourself in the eye because you can't believe that people actually use internet translators and think that it's okay to then go ahead and mass produce something.
Llevar means to carry, as in "Will you please carry / take me to Madrid?"
Now technically the conjugation itself is not incorrect, but strangely it is in the formal, as in "Please take me to Madrid, Mr. President." "Take me to Madrid, Madame Chairwoman." You'd think that you'd be on a first-name basis with someone who you are asking to take you on a trip.
I totally approve of wearing the shirt ironically, much as I have worn "My heart of surfing. Summer!" (I picked that baby up in Brazil). But if you're not going to wear it ironically, please don't wear it at all.
Post Script: I just tried a bunch of online translations. I apologize to Babelfish, whose translation was actually the best of all. You are still an evil translation machine with no soul, though. Curse you, Babelfish!
Me llevan a Madrid. Googletranslation
Lléveme a Madrid. Babelfish
¡Tómeme a Madrid! Freetranslation.com
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tucson, no te miento
My stories are outrageous, but true. Tucson is crazy contradictory. The ghost bus story is true. The coyote story is true. The cats makin' love on my hot adobe roof is true.
Yoga Oasis, Te quiero
I luv Yoga Oasis. The people are nice to me, I am comfortable there, and once I farted audibly and no one laughed. That's kindness.
They have a yoga happy hour that totally depends on the teacher. There's always music, and it's pretty fast for beginners, but it's usually pretty good for $4(!)....cheapest in town (that I know of). Sometimes the music is too loud, or it turns into some kind of sorority/fraternity meeting. Crazy. But that's just sometimes.
Beginners with Bruce or sometimes substituted by Vivianne is my favorite thing to melt away traffic-inspired anger. When you're inside the studio the cars rushing by outside sound like the wooshing of waves in the ocean, and it really helps me put the road in perspective. Bruce is excellent at corrections of postures and not being too intimidating. Warning: you will be made to do 'partnered' activities. I always bring my own partner because sometimes these activities are very crotch-to-face things. Vivianne is more low-key, and really reminds you how to work a pose that you thought was easy or transitional. That way you get your money's worth out of every action, so to speak.
Make sure to ask about student and monthly passes.
P.S. I just don't think it's okay to take your shirt off in yoga class, gentlemen. I don't take my shirt off. We're not at the beach. This is not your living room.
They have a yoga happy hour that totally depends on the teacher. There's always music, and it's pretty fast for beginners, but it's usually pretty good for $4(!)....cheapest in town (that I know of). Sometimes the music is too loud, or it turns into some kind of sorority/fraternity meeting. Crazy. But that's just sometimes.
Beginners with Bruce or sometimes substituted by Vivianne is my favorite thing to melt away traffic-inspired anger. When you're inside the studio the cars rushing by outside sound like the wooshing of waves in the ocean, and it really helps me put the road in perspective. Bruce is excellent at corrections of postures and not being too intimidating. Warning: you will be made to do 'partnered' activities. I always bring my own partner because sometimes these activities are very crotch-to-face things. Vivianne is more low-key, and really reminds you how to work a pose that you thought was easy or transitional. That way you get your money's worth out of every action, so to speak.
Make sure to ask about student and monthly passes.
P.S. I just don't think it's okay to take your shirt off in yoga class, gentlemen. I don't take my shirt off. We're not at the beach. This is not your living room.
Yo!
I heart Yoga, and I am very comfortable at YogaOasis (http://www.yogaoasis.com/), but I'd like to hear what you think. I have had a couple of weird experiences at Providence, but I haven't shopped around many other studios.
If you're interested in reviewing one, please let me know. I'm looking for the following information:
1. Location, Price, type of yoga, schedule (just generals, not specific)
2. welcome feeling, drop-in-ability, length of nap time (oops, I mean Svasana), voo-doo factor (too much chanting? cumpulsory confessions of your mood, hocus-pocus....not that those things don't work, but let's be serious, I just don't like sitting around in my workout clothes and looking deeply into my soul in a room full of people for $14. I can do that at home for free).
3. favorite teachers
4. any recent changes, updates, added bonuses you like or don't like. (I hear it's hard to get to Tucson Yoga downtown because of the construction, but some people think it's worth it. What do you think?)
If you want to write a review, please go ahead and post it in the comments section and I will post it. Also let me know what name I should credit it to.
*Namaste*
If you're interested in reviewing one, please let me know. I'm looking for the following information:
1. Location, Price, type of yoga, schedule (just generals, not specific)
2. welcome feeling, drop-in-ability, length of nap time (oops, I mean Svasana), voo-doo factor (too much chanting? cumpulsory confessions of your mood, hocus-pocus....not that those things don't work, but let's be serious, I just don't like sitting around in my workout clothes and looking deeply into my soul in a room full of people for $14. I can do that at home for free).
3. favorite teachers
4. any recent changes, updates, added bonuses you like or don't like. (I hear it's hard to get to Tucson Yoga downtown because of the construction, but some people think it's worth it. What do you think?)
If you want to write a review, please go ahead and post it in the comments section and I will post it. Also let me know what name I should credit it to.
*Namaste*
Don't worry, ma'am! You're in Tucson!
Since it hardly ever rains in Tucson, the city is surrounded by nice, dry river beds that serve as excellent jogging trails and dog-walking paths. However, since it hardly ever rains in Tucson, sometimes coyotes come down into the city to find drink and lots of lovely, delicious trash, or wiener dogs.
I was walking my dogs (in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon) in the Rillito river bed when one such coyote (I mean the animal, not the human smugglers- that would be a whole other kind of story) stared to follow us. My dogs are what a coyote would probably see as 'snack size,' since they're about 20lbs of well-fed, pampered meat. The coyote was hanging pretty far back, but looked bedraggled and probably pretty hungry. It wasn't big, and it wasn't charging me, but I wasn't entirely sure if it attacked that I could save all three of us. I clutched my pepper spray (ladies, never never never leave home without it- Diamond Back Police Supply 886-8338 ) and I even picked up a rock, thinking I could chuck it at the coyote and maybe at least startle it. The riverbed had been full of people earlier, and now we were somehow all alone with this poor desparate coyote following us.
Just when we were starting to transition from a brisk walk to a full run, a pair of cowpeople (one cowboy and one cowgirl) came over the horizon. They were in full Tucson theme-park gear: hats, boots, spurs...like the real Old West. The man shouted from under his handlebar moustache, "Don't you worry ma'am! That kai-oat thinks he's got his lunch, but we'll try to stop him." The thundered past. My dogs didn't mind the horses at all.
The man pulled out a laso...yes, a real laso made of real rope. This is like an 8th of a mile from Basha's! He declared that that it might not be possible to actually laso the coyote because the horse had uneven footing on the sandy ground, but by God, he was gonna try!
The laso fell in a perfect circle, right next to the coyote. He took one look at it and another look at my tasty pets and sauntered off.
Only in Tucson do cowpeople ride up on horseback and try to laso a coyote that's trying to eat your wienie dogs in the dry river bed out behind the grocery store.
I was walking my dogs (in broad daylight in the middle of the afternoon) in the Rillito river bed when one such coyote (I mean the animal, not the human smugglers- that would be a whole other kind of story) stared to follow us. My dogs are what a coyote would probably see as 'snack size,' since they're about 20lbs of well-fed, pampered meat. The coyote was hanging pretty far back, but looked bedraggled and probably pretty hungry. It wasn't big, and it wasn't charging me, but I wasn't entirely sure if it attacked that I could save all three of us. I clutched my pepper spray (ladies, never never never leave home without it- Diamond Back Police Supply 886-8338 ) and I even picked up a rock, thinking I could chuck it at the coyote and maybe at least startle it. The riverbed had been full of people earlier, and now we were somehow all alone with this poor desparate coyote following us.
Just when we were starting to transition from a brisk walk to a full run, a pair of cowpeople (one cowboy and one cowgirl) came over the horizon. They were in full Tucson theme-park gear: hats, boots, spurs...like the real Old West. The man shouted from under his handlebar moustache, "Don't you worry ma'am! That kai-oat thinks he's got his lunch, but we'll try to stop him." The thundered past. My dogs didn't mind the horses at all.
The man pulled out a laso...yes, a real laso made of real rope. This is like an 8th of a mile from Basha's! He declared that that it might not be possible to actually laso the coyote because the horse had uneven footing on the sandy ground, but by God, he was gonna try!
The laso fell in a perfect circle, right next to the coyote. He took one look at it and another look at my tasty pets and sauntered off.
Only in Tucson do cowpeople ride up on horseback and try to laso a coyote that's trying to eat your wienie dogs in the dry river bed out behind the grocery store.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Ghost Bus!
In my five years in Tucson I had never ridden the bus, until last week. I decided that it was just too darn hot to ride my bike uphill for three miles in the afternoon and that it was worth a dollar (and a short walk) to ride in the cool AC of the Suntran.
On my first ride (to work) I heard a woman explain to the driver that she was on her way downtown to her boyfriend's trial. He was looking at 40 years. She didn't specify why, but I assume he was accused of something really bad. She said he's 25 now, and she just doesn't know if she can wait 40 years for him to get out (!) She was really cute. Dump him!
The ride home was much more notable. At 10:30ish in the evening, I got on the bus near downtown. There was a man staring at me from one of the seats that faces front. No big deal...it's not the first time someone has stared at me on a bus, but this guy was really fixated. He didn't look like a crazy or a drug addict, though. Somewhere on 6th street, I looked back and the guy was gone. He had disappeared. He might have gotten off, but we hadn't stopped, so I don't know how that is possible. I kept looking at his seat, but nothing was there. Then the bus just died. The lights went out and the whole thing just stopped moving. Ghost bus!
The driver got it started again, but I was totally freaked out, so I've decided only to ride during the day from now on. That way the ghosts can't get me. Or is that vampires? Shouldn't the Suntran offer ghost-free routes?
On my first ride (to work) I heard a woman explain to the driver that she was on her way downtown to her boyfriend's trial. He was looking at 40 years. She didn't specify why, but I assume he was accused of something really bad. She said he's 25 now, and she just doesn't know if she can wait 40 years for him to get out (!) She was really cute. Dump him!
The ride home was much more notable. At 10:30ish in the evening, I got on the bus near downtown. There was a man staring at me from one of the seats that faces front. No big deal...it's not the first time someone has stared at me on a bus, but this guy was really fixated. He didn't look like a crazy or a drug addict, though. Somewhere on 6th street, I looked back and the guy was gone. He had disappeared. He might have gotten off, but we hadn't stopped, so I don't know how that is possible. I kept looking at his seat, but nothing was there. Then the bus just died. The lights went out and the whole thing just stopped moving. Ghost bus!
The driver got it started again, but I was totally freaked out, so I've decided only to ride during the day from now on. That way the ghosts can't get me. Or is that vampires? Shouldn't the Suntran offer ghost-free routes?
Heather Locklear comes to Tucson
According to a few celebrity blogs (and you know you can trust celebrity blogs), Heather Locklear has come to Sierra Tucson for treatment of depression or some other problem. I'm not interested in posting grainy photos of her on the grounds or speculating as to why exactly she is there, but her presence raises some issues. Why is a city so infested with meth the ideal place for resort-style drug rehab?
According to Capt. Neri of the Tucson Police, Meth is currently the #1 drug in the country. It's so prevalent in Tucson that there is a new GAP (Grand Alvernon project) now focusing on meth use and sale and production in that area. That's right down the street from my house! Anyone want to come over and take a walk with me after dark? I didn't think so.
Anyone who's ever tried to shop at the Frys or Walmart on that corner can attest to the prevailing creepiness of the whole scene. I can't even imagine what it's like for the poor families who live close to those stores and don't have a choice when it comes to shopping there. Even during the day it seems dangerous.
Meth is the source of a lot of secondary crime in the city also. Bike theft, house break-ins, car break-ins, pan-handling, robberies and who knows what else are all part of the daily routine around here. If you can live in Tucson this long without having your bike stolen or some of your property damaged, you're really lucky. (My bike was beat to hell by someone trying to break the lock off of it. I had to throw it away because it was totaled. My boyfriend's bike was stolen off of our locked front porch in the middle of the night, and oh yeah, my next door neighbors were dealing crack.)
What I've learned from my experiences in Tucson is that the police are so overwhelmed with the drug problem that it's really hard to get a reaction to your individual problem. Take my personal experience of my next door neighbors dealing crack. At the time, I thought it might be meth, and I fully expected their unit to blow up at any minute and take my two dogs and me with it. The neighbors had 10-15 cars come by per day, each stayed maybe 5 mins, and all of their visitors looked like drug addicts. They posted a sign in the window saying that they had strep throat and asking people not to bring children inside....want to know why? Arizona law allows the police to enter a property suspected of being a meth lab if it is suspected that there are children inside.
It took almost 6 months for the police to react. In that time I sent them 30 license plate numbers and descriptions of several transactions I had witnessed. I was truly in fear for my own safety. You only have to watch the news once to hear about the prevalence of home invasions in Tucson. Someone looking for drugs or money breaks in and kills everybody, and then often finds out that it's the wrong house. It was only a matter of time.
When the police did bust them, they managed to get the next higher dealer. The woman living there was on parole for dealing in the past, surprise, surprise.
Want to know how to get a reaction out of the police? Call your city council member.
Now ask yourself why Tucson is the destination for celebrities in need of treatment and also so deeply buried in meth.
Check out Crystal Darkness, a not at all trite portrayal of the meth problem.
According to Capt. Neri of the Tucson Police, Meth is currently the #1 drug in the country. It's so prevalent in Tucson that there is a new GAP (Grand Alvernon project) now focusing on meth use and sale and production in that area. That's right down the street from my house! Anyone want to come over and take a walk with me after dark? I didn't think so.
Anyone who's ever tried to shop at the Frys or Walmart on that corner can attest to the prevailing creepiness of the whole scene. I can't even imagine what it's like for the poor families who live close to those stores and don't have a choice when it comes to shopping there. Even during the day it seems dangerous.
Meth is the source of a lot of secondary crime in the city also. Bike theft, house break-ins, car break-ins, pan-handling, robberies and who knows what else are all part of the daily routine around here. If you can live in Tucson this long without having your bike stolen or some of your property damaged, you're really lucky. (My bike was beat to hell by someone trying to break the lock off of it. I had to throw it away because it was totaled. My boyfriend's bike was stolen off of our locked front porch in the middle of the night, and oh yeah, my next door neighbors were dealing crack.)
What I've learned from my experiences in Tucson is that the police are so overwhelmed with the drug problem that it's really hard to get a reaction to your individual problem. Take my personal experience of my next door neighbors dealing crack. At the time, I thought it might be meth, and I fully expected their unit to blow up at any minute and take my two dogs and me with it. The neighbors had 10-15 cars come by per day, each stayed maybe 5 mins, and all of their visitors looked like drug addicts. They posted a sign in the window saying that they had strep throat and asking people not to bring children inside....want to know why? Arizona law allows the police to enter a property suspected of being a meth lab if it is suspected that there are children inside.
It took almost 6 months for the police to react. In that time I sent them 30 license plate numbers and descriptions of several transactions I had witnessed. I was truly in fear for my own safety. You only have to watch the news once to hear about the prevalence of home invasions in Tucson. Someone looking for drugs or money breaks in and kills everybody, and then often finds out that it's the wrong house. It was only a matter of time.
When the police did bust them, they managed to get the next higher dealer. The woman living there was on parole for dealing in the past, surprise, surprise.
Want to know how to get a reaction out of the police? Call your city council member.
Now ask yourself why Tucson is the destination for celebrities in need of treatment and also so deeply buried in meth.
Check out Crystal Darkness, a not at all trite portrayal of the meth problem.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tucson, tambien te quiero
I don't want anyone to think that I hate it here, although I have been known to shout in traffic, gripping the steering wheel with my sweaty hands after being cut off yet again that I do, in fact, hate it here. Actually, there are some places in Tucson that I absolutely love and can't imagine myself living without.
Tucson has a very nice selection of restaurants for such a small city. Some of my extreme favorites are:
Cocoyaya's Mexican Food (Fort Lowell and Country Club)- Family run and so tasty it makes me want to cry
Sher-e-Punjab's Indian Food (First and Grant)- Also super tasty and I have finally gotten them to take me seriously when I say I want it hot and spicy (for the past 4 years they've been scoffing and then giving me something pretty mild, but recently they have been making it so hot I almost can't stand it. Yes! I love a challenging meal).
Miss Saigon (Speedway and Campbell)- If you can stand to eat soup in the summer, it's the best place to go. Also, they make awesome slushy drinks so you won't get too hot.
Tucson has a very nice selection of restaurants for such a small city. Some of my extreme favorites are:
Cocoyaya's Mexican Food (Fort Lowell and Country Club)- Family run and so tasty it makes me want to cry
Sher-e-Punjab's Indian Food (First and Grant)- Also super tasty and I have finally gotten them to take me seriously when I say I want it hot and spicy (for the past 4 years they've been scoffing and then giving me something pretty mild, but recently they have been making it so hot I almost can't stand it. Yes! I love a challenging meal).
Miss Saigon (Speedway and Campbell)- If you can stand to eat soup in the summer, it's the best place to go. Also, they make awesome slushy drinks so you won't get too hot.
We are not in your living room
I went to a movie at the Crossroads (Grant and Swan) on Tuesday ($1 night). The movie, Baby Mama, had clearly come out of the Hollywood romantic comedy factory, but who doesn't like Tina Fey? The movie would have been a lot less disappointing if the environment had been a little more tolerable, though. First, a row of seemingly-drunk, roudy talkers sat down in front of us, and we decided to move....to the seat next to Mr. Commentsalot, who spent the whole movie shouting at the screen what he thought would happen next, giving advice to the characters on the screen (my favorite was "Oh no, dude, you better get outta der"), and laughing hysterically, knee-slappingly, uncontrolably at the easiest of slap-stick jokes. That combined nicely with the old couple behind us, who spend 15 mins unwrapping a hard candy from its crinkly cover and then slurp, slurp, slurping it for the rest of the film. The old man didn't hear that well and every two or three minutes asked his wife what was going on. It was excruciating, but who can shush old people? My mom taught me better than that.
May I make a few suggestions? Don't take your shoes off in a movie theater. It's a public place. Better yet, don't put them on the furniture, either. Also, maybe refrain from talking, text-messaging, and open-mouth gum chewing. That seems like it would be nice for everyone.
At the end of the film I was tearing out the door, desparate to go somewhere civilized, when the sweet little employee of the theater announced that if we were going to our cars, we should go directly and not loiter because the Quiznos had just been robbed at gunpoint and the police were out in the parking lot looking for the gunmen. Ahhhh, Tucson.
May I make a few suggestions? Don't take your shoes off in a movie theater. It's a public place. Better yet, don't put them on the furniture, either. Also, maybe refrain from talking, text-messaging, and open-mouth gum chewing. That seems like it would be nice for everyone.
At the end of the film I was tearing out the door, desparate to go somewhere civilized, when the sweet little employee of the theater announced that if we were going to our cars, we should go directly and not loiter because the Quiznos had just been robbed at gunpoint and the police were out in the parking lot looking for the gunmen. Ahhhh, Tucson.
Maybe I wasn't clear......About this blog
I've lived in Tucson for five years now and I love and hate it (quierodio = quiero (love) + odio (hate)). It's Spanish, and if you live here, you should learn at least a little.
I'm constantly surprised by the seeming inconsistencies I see: the "American Culture" in clash with the "Immigrant Cultures", the rich/poor gap, the kind and casual attitude with the super-aggressive driving, the rehab clinics that some of the most famous Hollywood stars use and the tragic meth problem on the street. I see a walled-off mini-mansion next to a trailer park, I see homeless people using the fancy computers in the U of A library, I see rusty a clothesline next to a new Lexus convertible (seriously, every day on my ride home), I see major traffic congestion in contrast with a high rate of bike-riding....
So this blog is about the contradictions, the space in-between, if you will. It's observation and suggestion. I don't want to homogenize us. That would turn Tucson into the disney-fied tourist trap it already looks like from the view of some resorts overlooking the city. What I'm hoping to do is take some of the pressure off of my friends, who have very obligingly listened to my bitching for the past 5 years, and also see if anything good can come of it.
I'm constantly surprised by the seeming inconsistencies I see: the "American Culture" in clash with the "Immigrant Cultures", the rich/poor gap, the kind and casual attitude with the super-aggressive driving, the rehab clinics that some of the most famous Hollywood stars use and the tragic meth problem on the street. I see a walled-off mini-mansion next to a trailer park, I see homeless people using the fancy computers in the U of A library, I see rusty a clothesline next to a new Lexus convertible (seriously, every day on my ride home), I see major traffic congestion in contrast with a high rate of bike-riding....
So this blog is about the contradictions, the space in-between, if you will. It's observation and suggestion. I don't want to homogenize us. That would turn Tucson into the disney-fied tourist trap it already looks like from the view of some resorts overlooking the city. What I'm hoping to do is take some of the pressure off of my friends, who have very obligingly listened to my bitching for the past 5 years, and also see if anything good can come of it.
I hope you're enjoying the view
It’s so very dark at night. I know that it’s to avoid “light pollution” so that the telescopes all over the area can get a good look at the heavens, but that’s little comfort when I am taking a very dark and dangerous 10pm stroll from the bus stop to my house.
What’s most surprising is that all of the scientists packed into the U of A campus can put a robot on Mars, but haven’t taken the effort to produce some kind of streetlight that can charge itself during the day and an upside down bowl cover that minimizes its interference with telescopes.
The Simpsons actually did an episode on it: ‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky. Lisa convinces the town to turn off the lights so she can go out and view the sky with her telescope, but the crime rate goes up so high that no one can go outside at all anymore and they decide to turn them back on. Maybe we could reach a happy compromise?
What’s most surprising is that all of the scientists packed into the U of A campus can put a robot on Mars, but haven’t taken the effort to produce some kind of streetlight that can charge itself during the day and an upside down bowl cover that minimizes its interference with telescopes.
The Simpsons actually did an episode on it: ‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky. Lisa convinces the town to turn off the lights so she can go out and view the sky with her telescope, but the crime rate goes up so high that no one can go outside at all anymore and they decide to turn them back on. Maybe we could reach a happy compromise?
Cats
In Tucson, it’s impossible not to have a black cat cross your path. They breed indiscriminately and travel from alleyway to dumpster, crossing the road directly in front of you. They convene on my roof. They sunbathe on the hood of my car, and they stroll casually by the gate while my dogs go insane with rage. I try not to hit them, not just because I imagine that hitting a black cat is even worse than having one merely cross your path, but also because I feel sorry for them.
I feel less sorry for them when they wake me up in the middle of the night, screaming and hissing in some kind of violent feline love-making on my roof. Sometimes the moaning and whining almost sounds like a human baby, and I run outside, thinking that someone has abandoned an infant on my doorstep.
My neighbor feeds them, and I both love and hate her for it. You’re not supposed to feed them. That makes them feel safe and full and horny, and then there are more cats and more cats and more cats.
The Humane Society of Southern Arizona offers low-cost solutions to some of the problems. You can have your pet microchipped so that s/he is always identifiable, even without a collar. You can have them fixed so that they don't make a bunch of babies, and you can decide, as much as it breaks your heart, not to feed stray cats.
I feel less sorry for them when they wake me up in the middle of the night, screaming and hissing in some kind of violent feline love-making on my roof. Sometimes the moaning and whining almost sounds like a human baby, and I run outside, thinking that someone has abandoned an infant on my doorstep.
My neighbor feeds them, and I both love and hate her for it. You’re not supposed to feed them. That makes them feel safe and full and horny, and then there are more cats and more cats and more cats.
The Humane Society of Southern Arizona offers low-cost solutions to some of the problems. You can have your pet microchipped so that s/he is always identifiable, even without a collar. You can have them fixed so that they don't make a bunch of babies, and you can decide, as much as it breaks your heart, not to feed stray cats.
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